


finding my way (and myself in the process)

by somehow_bees



Category: TWICE (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fantasy, M for descriptions of injuries and later referenced violence, also just gonna say i rolled a nat20 for ny's wisdom, also time skips around so im sorry if it sounds rushed, it isn't really angst but it is sad, the slowest of burns
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-24
Updated: 2020-08-15
Packaged: 2021-03-04 19:07:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,072
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25481395
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/somehow_bees/pseuds/somehow_bees
Summary: “It’s just what I do, I love it, and I don’t know where I would be without it… also because I know some people are worth it”“And the people who aren’t worth it?”“Well, the people who aren’t worth it don’t get what they really need”OrNayeon finds Mina, and Nayeon helps Mina find herself
Relationships: Im Nayeon/Myoui Mina
Comments: 2
Kudos: 22





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> hi, it me. this is mostly just a free write that I've been working on that I thought I'd post. I'm not quite sure when I'll update, and it will take a while to get to the end, I think, but it will be worth it. also just a heads up, it's not beta read and I usually write at like 2am, and chapters are prob going to be on the shorter side ;-; I'm sorry. 
> 
> anyway, happy reading!

It’s the beginning of summer when Nayeon is in the forest outside of town collecting this season’s medicinal herbs. There’s a slight breeze in the air as she busies herself with sorting through a small patch of greens, and she finds herself humming a song she’s long forgotten the name of. An elderly woman from the town over had visited yesterday asking for a remedy for her sick cat, so she’ll have to remember to gather a bit extra 

She spends the rest of her afternoon here in the woods. Picking through various vegetation to restock her store’s supply. And it’s sunset before she decides to call it a night and head home. As she nears the edge of the woods there’s a faint snapping of twigs, and what would have once frightened her is shoved to the back of Nayeon’s mind as she continues along the path. That is, until there’s a yelp and a loud crash, and Nayeon turns just in time to see a large object falling from a nearby tree. 

And Nayeon, never one to refuse to help someone, strides over to the fallen object - person? Pulling out the small knife she keeps at her belt just in case. As she gets closer, what she can now see is a woman, begins to lift herself from the forest floor with a groan. 

Once standing, the woman slumps against the tree, sliding down until she’s back on the ground, “wow that hurt”

“Excuse me, are you okay?” and Nayeon takes time to look closer at the woman. Though it’s a little difficult given the retreating light, she does manage to note that the woman isn’t in a good condition. And while that should be obvious - she did just fall out of a tree - she seems to be much worse off for someone who just took a small tumble. For one thing, there’s blood on the dress she’s wearing, running down from two large gashes in her back completely reddening the sleeves. And given the state of the dress itself, Nayeon would happen a guess that the sleeves are hiding more lacerations. 

“Yes, I will be okay,” the woman is giving her a weak smile as she replies, and Nayeon can see that her hair, blonde, is also matted and caked in bits of blood. Nayeon thinks it’s comical, in a weird sick kind of way, how much this woman seems to be unfazed by her own condition. But before Nayeon can give any sort of reply, the woman before her slumps against the tree once again and fully passes out. 

\-----

It’s a challenge dragging this complete stranger to the apothecary Nayeon calls her home, but soon she has her lying on one of the reserved beds and is quietly tending to her shoulders. 

And it’s a mess, cutting away the red stained fabric from this woman, and as she does so, Nayeon is met with delicate skin marred by two large groves etched into this woman’s back. Right over her shoulder blades. As she removes the rest of the garment, she can see that her arms aren’t much better. There are patches of skin that have been burned, and in between each burn are a multitude of smaller cuts. Once Nayeon has properly cleaned the injuries on her back and arms, she moves on to her legs which are in a similar condition. The soles of her feet are burned, and scorch marks lick up the woman’s legs. It’s amazing she had been able to stand at all. 

It’s heartbreaking having to work over this unconscious woman on the table. And Nayeon has been around, she’s seen some rough scenes. But this. This is just downright cruel. Before Nayeon turns in for the night, she makes sure to gently clean the woman’s hair. Bringing over a basin of warm water and a wash rag, she begins to lightly comb through her matted hair until it is mostly untangled and blood free. 

That night, Nayeon endures a restless sleep

\-----

The first time Nayeon had tended to the injured was while she was still in the academy. She was 11 years old and she was nervous, of course, to have someone’s well being in her own hands, but she was also well practiced. Though, it wasn’t anything serious, one of the town’s guards had only gotten nicked during their training. 

It was the first time she would have had to apply stitches to anyone, and the guard was patient as she closed their wound. Afterwards, Nayeon had given them one of her homemade salves so there was no chance it could get infected. 

She had always been proud of that first patient. Maybe it was because she was so young, or how the guard smiled at her after she had finished. But it was something she would always look back on when she felt like giving up. When she felt like what she was doing wasn’t enough. But no matter what happened, what she had to endure, this was her passion. Helping people. So, when there was nothing left for her to lean on, she would be comforted by that old memory. 

\-----

It’s late afternoon and Nayeon is redressing the woman’s wounds when she finally wakes up. She doesn’t notice at first, but soon the woman is struggling to lift her arms to push up from the table. 

Nayeon brings a hand up to gently push her back, “hey hey, you’re in no condition to get up” and the woman just sighs, lying back down. They stay like this, Nayeon tending to the woman’s injuries, for long moments before someone decides to speak

“What’s your favourite colour?” Nayeon asks, she’s finishing the wrappings on her right arm before moving to the left

“What?” and her voice is soft. So soft that Nayeon almost misses it, and it’s a bit rough around the edges, but it’s beautiful. Like music

“Your favourite colour. I personally like purple” she stays silent after that, waiting for an answer but not wanting to push. She’s patient though, always has been and always will be, and she’s finishing up wrapping the woman’s legs before she responds,

“I like purple too” 

\-----

“Why did you ask about my favourite colour?” They’re eating dinner now, well Nayeon is, and she’s sitting with the woman as she does so, to keep her company

“It’s easy”

“Easy?” and the blonde tries to crane her neck to get a better look at Nayeon, wincing when her shoulders move too much

“Yeah. Gets the brain thinking, not too personal, but personal enough. Easy” 

“Why not my name?”

“Names…” Nayeon gives a small laugh, standing to get the two water, “names aren’t easy. Names hold weight, and history. Identity. Sometimes that’s too hard for people”

Silence… 

Then, “What’s your name?”

“Nayeon”

And the woman smiles, “my name is Mina”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> twitter: kitten_minari  
> tumblr: kittenminari  
> come say hi :)


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mina helps Nayeon

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a lil short, a lil sad  
> the next chapter will be longer, I promise

The next few days are filled with Nayeon taking care of Mina in between working. There’s a period of time where no words are passed between the two, days go by with Nayeon changing Mina’s bandages in silence, and both are content. Nayeon knows not to push, and that the other woman will talk to her if she wants to; and Mina is grateful for it. 

Once she can stand and mostly move, Mina tries to help Nayeon as much as she can. While she can’t walk very far or move her arms for too long, she helps sort supplies or take records. Really, she thinks she could be doing more, but Nayeon is always reminding her to take breaks. 

\-----

Nayeon is helping her change one night when she sees her back. It’s worse than she could have imagined. She remembers feeling it when it happened, and afterwards when she fled. And even after that, when the older woman was tending to her as she was zoning in and out of consciousness. But seeing it. Seeing the two deep gashes running down her shoulder blades presents a sort of finality. Something lost to the winds of time that will never again be

Nayeon holds her as she weeps 

The following days are filled with silence

\-----

She can mostly walk now, and she can move her arms with only a little bit of difficulty, though she’s still not allowed to do any heavy lifting. She’s helping Nayeon in the store front of the apothecary when a young girl comes in, she looks to be about 9

“My name is Tzuyu and I need you to help my dog!” Nayeon and Mina share a small smile as the girl explains what’s ailing her pet, and soon Mina goes to retrieve the necessary herbs

“What happened to your hands?” the child asks as Mina hands her the vial

“They got burned”

“Oh, I’m sorry” she frowns as she says it before giving a sad smile and opening her arms to offer the woman a hug. Mina kindly accepts, and both she and Nayeon watch as the kid runs out of the store, on her way home to help her dog.

\-----

“I never told you what happened” Mina says that night over dinner

“You don’t have to. Not if you don’t want to”

And Mina can’t bring herself to look at the other woman, “thank you… though you must be wondering…”

“I am, but that’s my problem, not yours. My questions shouldn’t be a source of guilt for you though. I can wait, and even then if you don’t want to tell me. That’s okay too”

\----- 

Nayeon wakes up to screaming. And she doesn’t have time to light a candle before she’s stumbling down the hall into the room Mina is staying in. 

There’s more tears than anything, but soon the girl’s violent sobbing becomes too much and her stitches begin to tear.

The two are quiet as Nayeon patches up her shoulders

“I’m sorry”

“It’s okay. You’re okay”

\-----

“How do you do it…”

“Do what?” Nayeon is running her hand through Mina’s hair

“Continue to help people, I guess… continue to see the good in people” she needs to turn her head away as she says it, because she doesn’t understand how she’s fallen so far. Because she’s certain the woman before her has seen too many of her tears

“It’s just what I do, I love it, and I don’t know where I would be without it… also because I know some people are worth it”

“And the people who aren’t worth it?”

“Well, the people who aren’t worth it don’t get what they really need” 

\----- 

Mina spends a lot of time in the garden. It’s nice to be able to take care of plants, she thinks, and it gets her out of the house. It also means she gets to continue to help Nayeon even when she doesn't want to be in the store. 

“You must not have gotten much attention,” Mina says standing over the rose bush in the corner of the garden, “it’s okay, I’m here now” it’s a sad bush, really, planted for its ability to take up space rather than what it might be able to add to the garden. In the recent days, Mina has decided it's her new little project.

“Dinner is ready!” and Mina startles at the shout, nicking her finger on one of the bush’s thorns, and she frowns as the small puncture begins to drip crimson onto the earth below. She shouldn’t be surprised by now, she came to understand that Nayeon was loud a long time ago, but still she finds herself getting caught off guard by it sometimes. 

Reluctantly, she cleans her hands and makes her way inside for the night. 

The next few days are filled with rain, and the nights filled with bright flashes of lightning. 

Mina only wakes a few times. 

By the time the storm has rolled through, Nayeon is standing out in the garden with her morning tea. She’s looking at the rose bush in full bloom, some of the delicate petals still dripping water

“The rain must have been good for it”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> twitter: kitten_minari  
> tumblr: kittenminari  
> come say hi :)


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nayeon helps Mina

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok so maybe I lied about how long this chapter was going to be...

Mina is taking a nap when Nayeon comes to get her for lunch. She had been staying in the older woman's room for a few days now and they're not sure who came up with the decision. Really it had been a mix of both of them, Mina had noticed a series of bruises forming on the Nayeon's knees after stumbling through the halls one too many times, and Nayeon had wanted to be closer to Mina anyways.

Standing in the doorway, a moment passes where Nayeon just studies the woman in her bed. She's lying on her stomach, hair splayed out messily around her head. In the early afternoon light, Nayeon swears she almost glows. it's... ethereal.

\-----

"Nayeon" it's a whisper in the dark, "are you still awake?" and Nayeon wonders how her voice can sound so impossibly small

"Yeah, are you okay?"

There's a sniffle, and then, "I don't know"

"That's alright, I've got you"

\-----

Nayeon wakes to the crash of thunder and instantly reaches over to the other side of the bed to comfort the woman next to her. Though, she’s only met with cold sheets.

She sighs, as she rolls back over to sit up and light a candle. It’s not the first time Mina has left the bedroom in the middle of the night. Nayeon has found that 3 times out of 5, the younger woman is just sleep walking and can easily be guided back to bed. 

It seems though that tonight is a night of the latter, in which Mina has left the room on her own waking accord with something weighing on her mind. 

Nayeon finds her outside, the lantern by the front table the only clue to her whereabouts, and she stands at the threshold as she watches Mina out in the grass.

\-----

It’s raining. Pouring actually. And Mina stands in the front yard of Nayeon’s home looking up at the tumultuous sky. She doesn’t know how long she’s been out here, doesn’t know when the tears running down her face were replaced by the rain.

She hears the front door open, though she pays it no mind as she lets out a shaky breath squeezing her eyes shut. Why did her eyes sting so much? When was the last time she blinked? 

Another suffocating moment passes, and Mina can finally feel the cold water seeping into her socks. She wishes she could seep into the ground along with the downpour. It would at least be something. Since she can no longer mingle with the clouds

“Come back to bed,” there are arms wrapping around her waist, and Mina can faintly hear Nayeon above the rumbling sky 

“I can’t” and she swears it takes all of her energy to not sink to the ground

“Well, what would you like to do” 

“I…” but she doesn’t get to finish before another wave of emotion is racking through her being

Nayeon holds her, just like she’s always done, just like she always will. So long as Mina will allow her to

By the time her tears subside, she turns in the embrace to face the other woman. She’s met with a smile. A soaking wet, somewhat freezing, and only slightly sleep deprived smile. But a smile nonetheless. 

Mina returns the smile, albeit it’s much sadder than Nayeon’s, and allows the older woman to lead her back inside

\-----

Nayeon draws a hot bath. Neither know what time it is; but if she is sure of one thing, it’s that the both of them are taking a day off from work later

“You shouldn’t have come out side,” the blonde says with a dry laugh

Nayeon finishes adding the bath oils and turns the water off, “What? And just leave you there for who knows how long?”

“Yes” she’s wrapped in a towel, and hesitantly looks up when the room is overtaken with silence and the smell of lavender 

“You know I couldn’t do that, Mina”

The younger just sighs, “I know… and Nayeon?”

“Yeah?”

“Will you stay with me?”

“Of course” 

\-----

The burns that once covered Mina have all properly healed, the only trace of their existence the faint swirling discolouration of the skin. Her back is much better too, though the large gashes certainly left their mark in the form of two jagged scars having made a home in her shoulder blades.

They sit back to front in the large tub, Nayeon lightly holding Mina around the waist as the two just exist. 

“I don’t understand you, you know” it’s a break in the silence, and Nayeon knows she will never be able to get over Mina’s voice, even with how broken it sounds in this moment

She quietly laughs, “that’s okay”

And there’s a splash of water as Mina spins around to face the older woman, not even bothering with covering up. It’s not like she hasn’t already seen every inch of her skin anyways 

“No, it’s not! I don’t understand how you can keep doing this. How you can- can keep helping me” fresh tears are running down her cheeks, and somewhere in the back of her mind she wonders how she even has tears left to shed

“I’m not worth it, Nayeon” and Nayeon’s heart breaks along with the break in her voice

She pulls Mina into a hug and tucks her head into the crook of her neck, “Mina, listen to me”

She gives a faint nod along with a sniffle as her only sign of acknowledgement

“Mina, I want to do this. I want to help you, to take care of you when you need it” she gently pulls the younger back so she can look her in the eye, “you are worth it, Mina”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> twitter: kitten_minari  
> tumblr: kittenminari  
> come say hi :)


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> mina and nayeon have a talk

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok this gets kinda sad I'm sorry
> 
> also I'm so sorry I haven't been writing... I really am trying to get back to it, but oof motivation  
> anyway, thank you to anyone who is still reading this, it really does mean the world

Nayeon wakes up to sunlight streaming through the window and another empty bed. 

The room is quiet, save for the sounds of birds outside the window, and Nayeon takes a moment to think back to the night before. 

\-----

After their bath, Mina had fallen asleep in Nayeon’s arms. This wasn’t something uncommon for them by now, and the two found they both slept better knowing the other was so close. 

Nayeon had stayed awake, kept up by the sound of the rain hitting the window and the even breaths of the woman in her arms. It had been months since Mina had come to her and the leaves of the trees were now starting to dawn the familiar orange and yellows that came with the changing of seasons. 

She kept her arms around the younger woman as she slept, her fingers idly playing with the ends of her golden locks as she let her mind wander. Falling into a deep and dreamless slumber not long after

\-----

She’s looking out the window, out at the rose bush that seems to have doubled in size since Mina first looked at it, when there’s a quiet knock at the door. 

“Come in” and the sight of Mina greets her holding two cups of tea, “you stay here too, you don’t need to knock, y’know”

“I know, but I’d never want to interrupt,” she says, handing one of the cups over to the woman in bed. 

Nayeon stares. Who can blame her, really. With the sun floating in through the opened curtains and the quiet of the morning air. Mina looks beautiful, radiant even. So Nayeon stares, and she gets caught staring

“Why are you looking at me like that?” the blonde asks, a blush creeping up her cheeks as her words drag Nayeon out of her thoughts

“Because I think you’re beautiful”

Mina’s blush deepens, and she opts to turn away from Nayeon to take a sip of her tea, “I was thinking, maybe we should talk” 

“Sure, about what?” and she pats the side of the bed, pulling back some of the blankets

Mina sits down and tucks herself into Nayeon’s side “About what happened” 

“Mina, if you don’t want to-”

She takes a deep breath, closing her eyes for a moment before, “It’s okay, I want to”

\-----

_Mina grew up knowing her place in life - her purpose_

_All she had ever wanted to do was help people - and thanks to her lineage, she could, far better than any human could help themself_

_\-----_

_Momo and Sana got their wings before she did, Mina was younger after all, but the new development didn’t stop the two from hanging out with her (as she had feared)_

_Really, it had brought them all closer together. Between telling Mina of their adventures to nearby towns, bringing her small gifts when they could, and Mina subsequently patching the two up after rough flights, Mina was more than excited when the first sprouts of feathers began forming on her back_

_\-----_

_Many of the celestial born envied her wings when they finally grew out. But Sana and Momo were never jealous, they simply admired_

_“You have such pretty wings, Minari” Sana said one day, the three sat at the tallest tree they could find staring out at the blue sky_

_“Sana is right, they’re beautiful”_

_Mina blushed at their kind words just like she always did, “that’s not true, mine are just average. You have such a wide wingspan, Satang. And Momoring, you wings are so powerful, they can carry you through the worst of storms”_

_The two older huffed at her words, sharing a look as they pulled her into a hug_

_“You’re going to have to learn to be kinder to yourself Minari” Sana said, laying a kiss on her head_

_“There’s so much to love about you, y’know that?” Momo said, following right after Sana_

_\-----_

_Her teachers had always warned of the far corners of the world. The people, they said, were less civilized. Less accustomed to the kind of guidance they offered_

_Yet, Mina found herself flying into the middle of a war zone_

_\-----_

_She had spent a great deal of time helping out the civilian sickbay and while she had been horrified at human capabilities, she knew she was doing what she could somewhere it mattered._

_She only remembers bits and pieces of the war, who she helped during that time._

_A mother and her child trying to escape a barrage of fire._

_A man retreating from the front lines, missing an eye and an arm._

_A young girl, no older than 16, running across a field to attend to the wounded who had gotten caught in the crossfire._

_They all end up blending together._

_\-----_

_The war lasts for almost 4 years._

_Mina helps where she can_

_\-----_

_Years pass, and Mina resumes her duties elsewhere, occasionally visiting the villages she had once nursed back to health singlehandedly_

_She would visit home now and again too, Sana and Momo always there waiting to catch up and swap stories_

_“You really are something” Momo says pulling Mina in for a hug_

_The two feel a slight shove and soon Sana is wrapping her arms around the two, completing their little group, “Momoring’s right” and she places a kiss on the younger’s forehead, “you are completely and utterly wonderful”_

_Mina chuckles as she feels Momo place a kiss to where Sana had and she tightens their embrace, “you guys aren’t too bad yourselves”_

_\-----_

_That’s the last time Mina sees Sana or Momo_

_\-----_

_She’s out at one of the far villages again, not one she had personal ties to, but one she was suggested to visit by a neighboring town_

_Immediately when she lands, she can tell something is off_

_\-----_

_The village is, distrusting, to say the least. No matter what Mina did, they never seemed to be able to truly let her help them_

_Maybe she should have taken that as a sign, but Mina, always so eager to help where she could, thought they were worth it_

_She was wrong_

_Their distrust soon became fear, and that fear evolved into hatred. Persecution_

_By the time she realized what was happening it was too late_

_\-----_

_“She’s a demon!” a voice rings out above the chaos_

_A voice that will now forever be engraved in her memory. One she heard over the tearing of her wings, over her sobs, over the burning of the pire beneath her feet_

_A voice that still haunts her dreams_

_One that tells her she wasn’t enough_

_Tells her that she isn’t worth it_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> twitter: kitten_minari  
> tumblr: kittenminari  
> come say hi :)


End file.
